the battle of vices
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IERP6-NmKJE
I don't think I've seen a video on YouTube more relatable to me right now at this moment. The YouTube video by Domics talks about competition and how everything seems like one.
I've noticed that everything I say seems to be countered with someone trying to one up me in one way or another. I tell them I got only 6 hours of sleep and they say, "Wow you got 6 hours? I didn't sleep at all. I wish I knew how my bed felt like. I haven't been home in like 7 days. Did I say 7? I meant 10. I mean I just haven't slept. I'm an insomniac." Okay maybe not that extreme, but it seems that we try to one up each other in things that don't deserve competition in. I've heard from a lot of adults and college students that this problem perseveres in a lot of colleges like MIT and Harvard to the point that it's becoming a real problem. We seem to compare the amount of color in each other's Google calendars like it's our newfound hobby or something. It's almost ridiculous.
"Wow your Google calendar has so much space! You're so lucky! Mine is just completely full -- all I see are colors now." Yes I know I'm exaggerating a lot of what I'm saying here but honestly that's what it feels like. It feels like people are constantly placing me in a competition I never asked to be in. I especially don't like the one where we're all in the battle of busy-ness. Why don't we argue about who's having a better time in college? Who has more time to sleep? Who's been healthier longer? Who's been happier? Who has more time to hang out with friends? I don't know. I guess it has something to do with making the other person feel bad. When you compare your vices there's a false pretense that you're somehow comforting the other person, but in the frequency that this happens, the higher number of "struggles" you have, the better you seem because you're hustling, you're working hard, you're becoming more competent & experienced.
I'm writing this blog post mostly to just rant. I'm not really writing this as a formal "to be read by public" even though it is public. It's mostly a random stream of thought that has been swimming around in my head for a long time. It's been plaguing me day in and day out because there's always a battle of stress, a battle of Google calendars, and a battle of vices. I'd rather be happy. When people tell me they hate their classes and sigh at the mere thought of them, I'm going to reply with, "Really? I love my classes! I'm taking one about art, one about sex, and one about social inequality! I'm super excited!!!!"
I would like to formally forfeit this battle of vices -- I'll lose. It's okay. I've lost. I'm happy and want to not be so stressed. Sorry I'll take the L this time. You've won. If you're happy, I'm happy for you too.