busy bee

I'll just be straight up about it. I think people are way too busy. It's funny isn't it? To hear that coming from me when I spent every day in high school running around from classroom to classroom, meeting to meeting, person to person... But I strongly believe that there is a difference between hustling harder and working harder but dumber. I worked my ass off because I was working for something that I loved and truly wanted to do. There was something in me that, for some reason, really needed to provide our youth a platform to speak and express their thoughts. My Key Club family meant the world to me and making people smile and making them feel confident was the best thing I could do while at Whitney. But now, even then actually, I never understood why we would do things if we didn't like it. I absolutely hated MUN (absolutely no offense or shade to the MUN-ers, this is personal preference)so I dropped it. I didn't let myself waste a moment longer of my life for something I didn't even feel an inkling of love or passion for. So why now? Why do I feel pressured to do that now? As I see the Google calendars lit up beside me, I wonder if I'm doing enough, if I have to join more organizations just so that I can say that I'm just as busy or that I'm soo tired or that I'm soo stressed. Just so that I can fit in with this disease of being busy around me.

But nope. I'm not going to do it. Yes, I've been addicted to being busy for the last 4 years of my life and yes I loved being busy and having somewhere to be. But sometimes, you just need to breathe. That's what I'm doing: breathing. I'm just going to breathe and let myself do what I want because my life is MINE. I shouldn't let myself be swept up by this current because I want to swim with everyone else. The ocean is so incredibly expansive and mysterious - why don't I explore it? Because no one else is? That's a pretty lousy reason. Why don't I just give my life up now if I'm going to live it by the standards of others, by the standards of our society? What's the point of thinking for myself if I'm going to base my ultimate decisions off of society's values and how success has been defined? I don't need to be world-wide famous to be successful, I don't have to be disgustingly rich to be successful, I don't have to have a million and one fans to be successful. Yes I can have all those things and still be successful, but I won't be successful for those reasons. I will be successful when I am happy with my own life and where I have landed. The only person I have and will have to live with for the entirety of my life is myself - so why not try to please myself and not others? People come and go but I have to live with my decisions and be able to sleep at night with that conscious.

I will be busy but I will not be mindlessly busy to call myself busy. I will be busy talking to people, listening to their stories, letting them know they're not alone, and laughing together. That's what's gotten me this far, why change that now if it still puts a smile on my face? I am going to enjoy life. I am going to enjoy the presence of humans. I am going to be happy and hope the same for everyone else. Do what you love, love what you do - I can think of nothing better.

#social #life #advice