Believe

I believe that you get in where you are meant to go.

I believed in the process enough that when I was applying for colleges, I trusted that I would get in to the school where I belonged and where I needed to go in life.

It's not only because I trusted God to place me where I needed to be most. It's not because I believed in fate (okay maybe a little bit).

I mostly just trusted life. That sounds so crazy and much easier said than done, I know. But with the college application and admissions process, it's so hard to say how it is run. Unless you're on the other side, reading the supplements of frantic high school students who seem to be basically begging to get into your institution, you don't really know what the college process is like and what kind of students are exactly admitted.

I applied to a lot of schools, I'll admit. I know that it was a lot of schools - too much, some may argue. But the reason that I saw it as necessary was because I decided that at least one of these schools would be the place that I was meant to go. I didn't really want to force myself to fall in love with a school. I'll admit yes, I fangirled over one of the schools for quite some time. But when I didn't get accepted, I didn't cry. And some of you may say I'm heartless or apathetic. No... I'm quite invested in the school that I will spend the next 4 years of my life at. I didn't cry because I trusted that I would still get in where I needed for the next four years of my life. I decided from the get-go that whatever choices I had, they would be my choices for a reason. Something about them would be necessary for my life and for my growth as a person. It's easier said than done. It took me a long time and a lot of self-reflection to make myself belief that. But trust me, it makes you feel a lot more at ease when you believe in the process and believe that what schools you get accepted into are the schools that need you or that you need for the next four years for SOME reason under the sun.

The only thing that I regret during my college applications process is that I wasn't more genuine in my college essays. When I tried so hard to write to the college or when I tried to listen to too many people reading my essays, I lost my voice. And honestly, that is what I really regret spending the personalized hell nights at the library for: writing what I didn't believe. I would try too hard to get to the point. I tried too hard to sound smart. I tried too hard to force myself into a mold that my mind knew was too dumb and foolish of me as my mental self writhed out of that mold and flopped onto the floor as it glared at me in mere disgust and disappointment. I'd stare down at it and apologize as I picked it up only to smush it into the mold again, praying that no one would find me out because I wanted to get into a college more than anything. But as I did this, I realized that I got rejected for that very reason. It was because I had been untrue to myself and what I wanted. I was trying too hard to listen to the words "show, not tell" and I took out my voice and thus my heart and soul from the words that I spilled so wastefully on the page. I took my words for granted and I used my writing for evil, not good.

The only time I wrote the most genuinely to myself was in my Harvard supplement. The reason why I know that I belong at Harvard is not because of its brand name or because of its ranking or whatever. It's because it's the most genuine essay that I wrote and I know now that they accepted me for me and not someone that I had created in the process. I say this supplement was the most genuine because it's the supplement that I copied and pasted from my blog and edited to make shorter. But I didn't change the message or the style because I decided that I would be brave and audacious. I would take a risk and just decide to show off the voice that I was proud enough to publish on my own blog. And somehow it all worked out. I got rejected from so many colleges, so many prestigious and "non-brand name" colleges. It's actually quite a miracle that I somehow wriggled my way into Harvard. But if there's one thing that this process has taught me, it's to

believe.

Believe in the process and what it has to offer. Everything in life happens for a reason. It's hard to see sometimes because it's so easy to get caught up in the process and the expectations of being a teenager. Being a teenager and a high school student is so difficult now and I understand. I've been there. I'm still there. It's grueling. It's tough. Not many understand our struggle. But trust in the system and what the world has to offer you. Future seniors, wherever you end up, I hope you're happy. I hope you can make your own happiness and that you find where you belong. You may not know it at first, but where you get accepted to and where you decide to go will be where you are meant to go. Somehow, some way, there is a reason you need to go there. Don't let people tell you the worth of your college. Whether it is the #1 college in the US or community college, college and the experience it has is what YOU make of it and no one can change that until you let them. It's a learning institution, it's a building, it's a place with people: it's a place for YOU to flourish and to come out on top with nothing but great stories to tell and life experiences to work with.

Believe.

Be genuine.

Be you.