Suck it up

"Just suck it up."

Thanks. Yeah I'll keep it bottled up and not mention it because it'll make you feel better but will make me feel like I'm about to explode. I'll hold in my tears when you throw those cutting words at me and when you come to apologize only when you realize how much your words hurt me. I'll pretend to be alright when really I want to cry right in front of you at that moment but instead I'm biting my lip to stop it from trembling and my tears from rolling down my face. I'll concede when you tell me that I'm selfish and that I don't think about anyone or anything but myself. I'll pretend not to care when you direct your anger at me instead of what's really making you mad. I'll hold it all in because you told me to instead of telling you how I really feel. I'll forgive you when you apologize because you'll get mad at me otherwise. I'll try to love you but realize that I'm only hurting myself in the end. I'll be in agony on the inside and nod my head yes when really my heart is tearing apart and breaking away into crumbs and being blended into the earth as it sighs.

Fine. I'll just suck it up.