Disclaimer: I'm Not Perfect

I'm not perfect. I don't know where people got this notion that everyone but them lead perfect lives with marble floors, beautiful red brick walls, and gorgeous gardens, all the while being emotionally stable & eternally positive. Maybe some people do - I don't know. But I do know that I don't live that kind of life. I don't say this to complain or to give the whole "woe is me" spiel. I say this because I want to voice that I am perfectly okay with this inevitable reality. I and my life are not perfect and I've come to terms with that because I know that whatever I do or try, I will experience some bumps in the road and fall, but at the end of it all, I'll be able to get back up and keep on moving. Because that's who I am, and that's who I always shall be.

I won't always be happy or positive or on top of everything: I'm going to have "off" days when I feel like being alone or crawling into a hole and never coming out. But I'm also going to have those days when I feel as though I'm on cloud 9, floating above all my problems, untouchable by the troubles that I faced. Everything passes - the good, the bad, and the ugly. But what makes life so interesting is that they all come back at one point or another and I've found it futile to try to reject something so certain. Why not embrace it and enjoy the life that I currently have? With the friends that'll be there for me no matter what, with the Key Club ohana that will support me when I fall, and with the adventurous and unexpected ups and downs of being a high school student?

Life is so beautiful. Sometimes it doesn't feel that way - trust me, I know - but life is so colorful, eventful, and unpredictable that it's absolutely stunning and I'm so lucky to be alive. Too often I forget how fortunate and blessed I am to be on this earth, gazing at the stars in the awesome night sky or smelling the aromatic roses planted right in front of my little humble abode. I find myself focusing too much on what's bad - the incessant tests, the downfalls in my life, the rotten people, the frightening reality of the times. But when I take a step back and look at all of it and truly witness the beauty that the world has to offer and to show me, I can smile again.

These past couple of weeks have not been easy - I've had so many ups and downs emotionally and mentally that my entire existence has experienced a rickety rollercoaster, a contraption that has threatened to throw me off and fling me to the merciless, concrete floor. But when I reflect on it all, I realize that those experiences, both good and bad, have been able to strengthen me and teach me. They have strengthened me for the next time and they have taught me to be more cautious and to be more thoughtful. Although the process was heartbreaking and difficult, I still can't help but think how important and necessary these events were in my life. I didn't know it at the time, but I needed something to slap me in the face and push me out of the fog that I've been stumbling through.

Truly a blessing in disguise.

If you ever feel "lesser" because you don't feel perfect, stop. You're amazing the way you are and you should embrace that imperfection. It's part of what makes life so interesting and enjoyable with its hidden gems and its occasional bumps. Each experience is a part of who you are, whether it's your best or worst moment, and it's time that we be proud of it as a learning moment or just purely a memorable one.

#identity #personal #life