Best Friends for ... Life?

Recently I've been questioning what friends are, especially in high school when our friends are determined by proximity and the number of classes you have together. Don't get me wrong: there are several people that I am absolutely grateful I met because of a coincidental seating arrangment in 2nd or 3rd period; how would I have met them otherwise? But from recent events I've had to question what friends really are: are they really my friends if I'm forced to walk on eggshells around them? If I have to watch every word I say or type in fear of being criticized or judged? If they insult people, clubs, things that are just overall dear to me? I don't think so. If I feel as though I'm walking on thin ice around my so-called friends, then I don't think I'm being fair to them and vice versa because I'm not confiding in them as a friend should and they aren't respecting my opinions as confidantes should as well. Friends are supposed to be there to listen to everything and anything without judgment and with wholehearted understanding and sincere concern. In a society so adamant on tearing each other apart, I want to be able to take refuge in my friends while going to them with the deepest, darkest secrets without fear that I'll be harshly lectured or critically attacked. But with the exception of a few key people in my life, I don't know who I can confide in anymore: I've always wanted to believe that I could trust easily because people are good and they always mean well but after I've had that trust broken repeatedly, my unconditional faith in those specific people has disappeared.

#personal #life